My 30-day challenge

I've just set myself a 30-day challenge to get into some good habits and I thought I'd write about it as it may help me to stick to what I've set out to do. I think the word "challenge" has got something to do with it - give me something to work towards or something to achieve and I do it. Doing just for the sake of doing never seems to work for me.

I've realised this recently. When I wrote my post about the psychology of running and how I felt like I could run beyond 5k for the first time ever, not only did I write about it, I also told anyone who would listen. When I told my friend Nikki she said "want to do a 10k race in the middle of May then?" It was four weeks away and although I felt like I could run beyond 5k, I hadn't actually done it. But I agreed to the race, it sounded like fun as we had to dress up as Super Heroes and it meant a day down in Brighton raising money to help build schools in Africa via a wonderful grassroots charity called Passing It On. Once I'd agreed to do the race I told a few people because if I know I say to others I'm going to do something, that's what will happen.

A couple of days after agreeing to do the run, I got up early to start training. I felt awful and didn't want to get out of bed but I thought I was just being wimpy so I hauled myself out, got ready and went down to Peckham Rye and did a 40-minute run. I didn't have quite the same euphoria as I'd had the day I'd written my running post but I ran for the time without stopping and it was the first time I'd run beyond half an hour. Afterwards I went to work and as the day progressed, I felt worse and worse. I had been coming down with some sort of sneezy/coldy/flu thing and that's why I'd felt dreadful when I'd woken up but I thought I was just trying to get out of running and stay in bed a bit longer and so I'd forced myself. When the illness fully took hold I couldn't run at all and lost about 10 days in my training schedule. The thought did cross my mind about not doing the race as I wasn't sure I could get up to 10k in the time now but I decided that I had said I would do it and I would be my word and just get on with it. I also set two other criteria for myself - I wanted to run the whole race (no walking for me then but Super Heroes don't walk!) and I wanted to complete it in an hour. I carried on running, working my way up to running for 50 minutes and then an hour. We did the race last weekend, it was great fun and I ran the whole 10k, finishing a few minutes after an hour so very pleased with myself. We've now said we're going to do a half marathon in the autumn. I also realised that I'd got up to running 10k a lot quicker than if I'd been just working my way up to it without any kind of goal or challenge to work towards and that's why I've set myself this 30-day challenge.

The things I have to do or not do for the next 30 days are things I've been trying to get into the habit of doing on and off since the start of the year. They aren't difficult, they don't take up much time and can easily be incorporated into your daily routine and they are all things that are good for me and will help sort out my energy levels amongst other things. However I've realised that daily disciplines just don't seem to be my thing. I can take a massive leap of faith and do things that would send most people scurrying away in alarm but doing little things consistently, day in, day out, well this kind of discipline is something that is new to me and I'm learning now. I realised that one of the reasons that my good intentions drift away after a few days is that I had no way of charting progress or any system that would bring me back on track if I missed out on something for a day or two. I've lost count of the number of times I've tried to get into the habit of drinking 2 litres of water a day. I'd do it for a few days, maybe a week or two and then something would happen and I'd forget to drink any water or I'd be out all day without my 2L with me. One day would turn into two days and before I knew it, I wouldn't be drinking any water at all, sometimes for a few days at a time. This is just one example but there are many similar ones. And why is it so easy to get into the habit of doing bad things every day so easily? I could drink a can of coke every day even though I know it's not good for me and the sugar will make my teeth fall out and surges of sugar make me very up and down. I always thought it was wonky hormones that caused this but I wouldn't be surprised if it was actually coca cola!

To help myself I've started using charts this year where I can tick off things as I do them on a daily basis and to remind me of the things still outstanding. Interesting tactics but they work for me to some extent and I need some kind of record as my list of things to do or not do currently stands at 19 things a day and I need some sort of chart just to remember if I've done something or not. Even with my chart I could be a bit haphazard with sticking to what I was meant to be doing. But with no chart at all I noticed I slipped quickly and easily into old bad habits so the chart is back and it's here to stay. Doing the 10k race made me realise that I can do things beyond what I thought if I feel like there's some sort of challenge or I'm working towards something. Even publicly declaring my intention to do something makes it easier for me to stick to my word as I've never been one of those people who talks a lot but does little. I tend to say what I'm going to do and then do it.

Here are the daily things in my 30-day challenge (they are in the order that they happen from morning to night)

1. Hot water and lemon
2. 3 sun salutations A and B
3. Dry brushing
4. Flax seed
5. Fresh juice
6. Daily yoghurt
7. Toning exercises
8. Supplements
9. 2L water
10. No coffee/caffeine
11. No dairy (but I can have goats or sheep products)
12. No sugar
13. No wheat
14. No fizzy drinks
15. No junk food
16. No peanuts
17. No alcohol
18. Meditation
19. Night-time routine

All the things I'm not supposed to have are things recommended to me by the kinesiologist last year. When I was first told to give these things up as much as possible, I practically cried. All I could think about was how difficult it would be to give things up. But this year although I haven't followed all my points all the time, I have had periods of time where I've been very good (longest period being 3 weeks) and my shopping habits and taste buds have changed vastly, so much so I don't even miss the things I thought I couldn't live without. I haven't bought butter once this year. I never thought that day would come as I love butter. As a child I would cut the corner off a block of Anchor butter and pop it into my mouth and happily wait for it to dissolve. Now I do without and I don't seem to miss it. Cutting out dairy has not been as difficult as I imagined. I've switched to rice milk for porridge, have goat's yoghurt instead of Greek yoghurt and have fun discovering all the different goats and ewe's cheeses that are available. The one thing I won't give up even when I'm being very good is ice cream but even then I find that I don't actually want it that often and when I do, I can't eat that much.

So, over time it's gotten easier to give things up but getting into a daily routine is the area where I really struggle. None of the things I'm supposed to do or not do make any immediate impact on me. I don't have allergies to the foods I'm not supposed to have, they don't make me ill but they do affect my energy levels. I read a book recently "The Slight Edge" by Jeff Olsen and it really resonated with me. It talked about the importance of doing little things every day and how difficult it can be to do them as it doesn't make any difference on your life today if you do them or you don't to them. They're easy to do and they're easy not to do. But these little things over time do add up to big things and you want the little things you do every day to be good things, not bad things. I have to admit, the book did scare me a little as I know I'm nowhere near good as I should be. I can eat badly and get away with it as I don't really put on weight but a bad diet affects my mood enormously and I do need to pay attention to this. As daily discipline doesn't seem to be my thing, I've had to wrap it up in something I do understand - a challenge and see how I get on with that. I'll come back and write up my progress, ideally on a weekly basis. It'll be good to capture how I'm getting on and more importantly how I'm feeling as I think that will all help to keep me on track.

Progress so far as today is the end of day 2. So far so good. I've got a long line of ticks on my chart for yesterday and today. More of the same tomorrow then!

The Power of a few words of encouragement and belief...

...they can literally change a life.

In my late teens the thought that dominated my mind was how I was going to live a live completely different to the one I was supposed to live. Coming from a traditional Pakistani Muslim family, the life earmarked for me was a little like this - be a good, dutiful daughter, have an arranged marriage to someone chosen by my parents, be a good dutiful wife and mother - the end. I would have lived in the family home until I got married and then I would have gone to live with my husband or his family. In the run-up to the wedding I might have been able to spend a bit of time getting to know my future husband but it wouldn't have been the same as going out with someone as we know it here. I could be nothing less than a virgin on my wedding night. At quite a young age I'd decided I didn't want this kind of life, it didn't sound like much fun and I had a morbid fear of being forced into an arranged marriage. I didn't know how to change things but I knew there had to be a way and I was determined to find it. As I possessed the number one and number two top requirements for an arranged marriage (British passport and pale skin), I avoided going to Pakistan between the age of 11 and 18, coming up with one excuse after another. I refused to go into the kitchen with my mum and learn how to cook traditional food as I thought if I couldn't cook Pakistani food for my husband and his family, I wouldn't be such a great prospect. That was my strategy until I found another way.

In Pakistani culture, independence is not encouraged amongst girls. The family, including the extended family or the in-laws, can dictate how you live your life. I'd experienced this once already when I was 14 or 15. I was horse-mad as a teenager and worked at the local riding school from the age of 12. Holidays were spent at the riding school and one summer one of my aunts was visiting with her family. She thoroughly disapproved of the amount of time I spent away from the home and on her return to Pakistan, she complained to my grandmother. A very stern letter was written to my dad telling him he had to tell me to stop riding and he did just that. He couldn't explain why I had to stop riding but that's what I had to do. I refused and so he responded by saying that he wasn't going to pay for my riding lessons any more. "Fine I'll pay for them myself using my pocket money" I replied. He couldn't stop my pocket money as I hadn't done anything wrong so I carried on riding and working at the riding school, paying for my lessons out of my pocket money. This incident was a stark reminder of what the culture can be like and I really didn't want my whole life to be a series of incidents like that.

At the age of 16 I got a part-time job in the restaurant of a Dulwich Village pub. It was an accident getting the job - I'd gone there to see the former manageress of the riding school who was working there after leaving under mysterious circumstances. I crept in hoping no one from the Pakistani community would see me, a Muslim girl going into a pub - I came out with a job. I had to keep the exact location of my job a secret from the family as they would have been horrified that I was working in a place where alcohol was served (even though I was technically too young to serve alcohol) - however my dad knew all along exactly where I was working. He offered to give me a lift to work one Sunday morning and as we got into Dulwich Village, I kept saying "it's okay, you can drop me off here..." My dad kept on driving and pulled up right outside the pub. As I sat there alarmed, waiting for the tirade, all my dad said was "I know where you work, it's okay with me. But you know what the Pakistani community is like and how they talk so best not to tell anyone where you work" - at that point I realised my dad was on my side and has been ever since.

A few months after I started working there the management changed and Barbara and Graham came into my life. Larger than life and exuding glamour, they had both worked at Playboy before, Barbara as a Playboy Bunny and Graham as a croupier. On meeting them I was immediately petrified but we soon struck up a great working friendship. Barbara took me under her wing and taught me so much about the world of work, building excellent customer relations and running a good business. Under their guidance I flourished, which was just as well as academically things were not going so well and I messed up my A Levels and missed going to university. But a few weeks short of my 19th birthday, they said some words to me that would literally go on to change my life:

"You will achieve anything you set your mind to".

The reason for such a profound statement was that I'd just bought my first car and had proudly driven to work. When I'd passed my driving test my dad had said that he'd buy me a little car, just as he'd done for my older sister. However there was one problem, my dad wanted to get a Nissan and I wanted a Volkswagen Beetle. We're both stubborn and neither would budge and I resolved the situation by declaring that I would buy a Beetle myself, undeterred by the fact that I was earning £30 a week. I handed over my cheque book to Barbara and Graham (it was the days before cash cards) with strict instructions to lock it in the safe and not return it to me until I was ready to buy the car. I thought it would be quite cool to buy my first car at the age of 18

and for a year I worked and saved. A few weeks before my 19th birthday I'd saved enough and found a beautiful red VW Beetle and purchased my first car. Having witnessed the whole process, Barbara and Graham realised I had the ability to decide what I wanted and do what it took to make it happen, even though I was completely oblivious to what I'd just done. And those magical words "You will achieve anything you set your mind to" literally did change my life. I realised what it meant to have a dream (the car) and turn it into reality but more than that, I realised that if I was independent, if I succeeded with work, stood on my own two feet and paid my way, then maybe, just maybe I wouldn't get married off - it was a revelation! Barbara and Graham made me believe I would achieve anything I set my mind to even though I had failed my A levels and didn't think my life would amount to much. Their belief in me ignited a belief in myself so strong that I pelted through the next decade (the international years) doing lots, achieving lots, living life to the fullest. It certainly wasn't the life of a traditional Pakistani girl.

I've been enormously lucky as Barbara and Graham weren't the only ones to encourage me and believe in me. When I worked at Bell Pottinger Consultants, I affectionately referred to Stephen and Graham as my two wise men. When I was made redundant along with seven other Consultants, both asked to speak to me before I left. I had no idea what they were going to say and I was slightly stunned when they said pretty much the same thing:

" I have no idea what you're going to do but I know you will be successful. You can spot someone who has that quality and you have it. You're one of life's winners".

To hear these words from two highly accomplished gentlemen meant more than the redundancy package. Their words gave me hope at an otherwise distressing, traumatic time and they inspired me to look beyond just getting another job, to do something a little bold. My first idea was to move to South Africa and work there. I planned a three-week trip as soon as I left the Consultancy and flew to Johannesburg for a round of first interviews. I then spent two and a half weeks travelling across the country to Cape Town and finally flew back to Johannesburg for second interviews. As soon as I arrived in Johannesburg a gut feeling told me that South Africa wasn't the right move for me and although my second interviews went well, I decided against taking anything up and flew back to London. By going out to South Africa and exploring the opportunity and ultimately deciding it wasn't right for me, I've never had any regrets about it - I didn't just think about something I wanted to do, I went and explored the opportunity before deciding no.

Once back in London and with my wise men's words ringing in my ears, somehow I came up with the brave, bold or bonkers idea to set up an interiors business even though I had no training, experience or client base. I sincerely believe that it was Stephen and Graham's words of encouragement and belief that gave me the courage to look at what I really wanted to do and then go for it. I had absolutely no experience of setting up or running a business but I had this idea, this belief in my heart that refused to go away. After all my two wise men had said I would be successful so why not take a real leap of faith. Even now I'm amazed that I took this seed of an idea and made it happen, just put my head down and got on with it. From the start the point I focused on was the launch party, that was the place I was aiming to get to and I used to think about the party and how I wanted it to be from the very start. I even asked two friends Frank Tope and Tayo if they'd come and DJ at the launch party - this was probably a week after I'd had the idea and up til then they'd known me doing something international so here I was, talking about doing something completely different and having a launch party. I must have convinced them it was going to happen because they both said yes! To see how this little seed of an idea turned out click here

Ironically once I moved into interiors and embarked on the entrepreneurial life, I was approached to work on a couple of high-level International Relations projects - the Global Leadership Foundation and the British Ukrainian Society (both times my name had been recommended by Graham from Bell Pottinger). It was with these two projects that I finally felt a sense of real achievement and fulfilment in my "career" job. It was at the British Ukrainian Society that I had the pleasure of working with Richard Spring and I learnt so much from him, not only the joy of a team working in unison but also about not giving up, never giving up, going forwards, always going forwards and ultimately achieving results far greater than you'd ever imagined. If the people already mentioned had inspired me to take action, then Richard really inspired me to keep going when I found things difficult and challenging and I was ready to give up. He showed me what a leader is, someone who gets you to do more, achieve more, to keep going when you want to give up and go way beyond what you thought possible. It's amazing to look back when you've had these kind of experiences and see what you've achieved. And if I'd gone for another job after Bell Pottinger, done the normal or safe thing, I would never have been able to take on these projects but working for myself meant I could say yes to some incredible opportunities.

I've always been very aware of the people who have inspired me, believed in me, made me feel that anything was possible. I've been encouraged to discover what my potential could be and I've never forgotten how these people have been a catalyst to the life I've gone on to lead - at times very much a case of ordinary person, extraordinary life. Sometimes I look over my CV and think "you failed your A levels, missed out on university first time round and yet you've done all of this" - some amazing experiences, extraordinary opportunities and incredible friendships. My family obviously played a big part too as when you bring into the equation that I'm from a fairly traditional Pakistani Muslim family, the life I've led can be seen as quite different from the normal perspective but from the Pakistani perspective it does go off the scale somewhat. But my dad spoke some very wise words to me when I was at university. There was the chance to study in America as part of a student exchange, there was only one place available and I decided I wanted to go and I would be the best person for my university to send. When I spoke to my dad about this opportunity, he told me to go for it (or whatever his words would have been in Urdu). He said you had to take opportunities whenever they came along as they may never come again - so I listened to his wise words and just went for it, taking opportunities as they came and creating a few along the way.

I believe this is for everyone, an amazing life is out there for anyone, anyone who has a bit of drive and desire, takes responsibility for how their life turns out and has a positive frame of mind. Sometimes it just takes another person to have a bit of belief in them and to say "You can do it!" I know that a few words of support, encouragement and belief can literally change a life - that change could be tiny or it could be massive and I believe this should be for everyone, not just some lucky person like myself who happened to be around some life-changing people at various points in time. If I can do it, then anyone can do it - sometimes all it takes is a little nudge, a bit of belief or some positive support and words of encouragement. It's been given to me and it's time to give it back a hundred times over.

As I embark on the next bit of my adventure, putting together an Arbonne team and leading them to success, I know this is my way of giving a life-changing opportunity to everyone I know. Not everyone may want it but the least I can do is to share it and be generous with this gift. This is also my way of saying "thank you" to the people in my life who have believed in me, encouraged me and supported me along the way. In addition to the people mentioned here, I have my family and numerous friends who have done that for me - whenever I do one of my email updates, I always get some lovely words of support and encouragement and I believe that these kept me going at times when I hit a difficult patch. I feel so excited about the next chapter and it's good to feel like this again. I've had some time to rest and reflect and it's now time to move forwards again. I've had time to think about the life-changing impact that some people's words have had on me and I know that more than anything, I want to do that for others. If I can make a difference in one person's life, if I can instil in someone that sense of "you can achieve anything you set your mind to", if I can inspire someone to be the best they can be by sharing my stories, anecdotes and any other wisdom I've picked up along the way, then I know I'm doing something of value and that gives me a sense of purpose that fills me with excitement and joy!