Brighton Half Marathon - only 51 days to go...

Shocking - it's been over six months since I last posted. Well a lot's happened in that time - mainly that I was quite ill in July, August and September and October onwards has been all about getting better again. I now feel pretty fabulous and while it was horrible being ill, I think we've finally got those pesky wonky hormones under control!

Not much happened while I was ill - it's as if life shut down for three months. I stopped doing any sort of exercise and my daily challenges which got mentioned so much in my posts this year, they also fizzled out. But I'd really felt the benefits of both regular (daily) exercise and my daily good habits so I was determined to get back into a good routine again. It also plays a big part in me getting better and staying well so fairly essential. Anyway back in October, a friend posted on Facebook saying that she had signed up to do the Brighton Half Marathon in February 2012. As soon as I saw that, I thought "I want to do that too!" - even though I hadn't run for over 4 months and it would be like starting from scratch again. I remembered that the charity that organised the HEROES RUN in Brighton (the 10K race I'd done with a couple of friends in May) had places for the Brighton Half so the next morning I called Pass It On Africa and spoke to co-founder and Charity Manager James Macdonald. Luckily they had some places left so I put my name down and then had quite a long chat with James, saying how much I'd enjoyed the HEROES RUN and how I'd been really impressed with the work they were doing to raise funds to build schools in Africa. One of the things I'd really liked was that they kept admin costs down to a minimum so 70-80% of fundraising goes directly to the projects.

I mentioned some of my previous International Relations experience and the conversation ended with me offering to email my CV over to see if there was any way I could help the charity on a pro-bono basis. It's something I'd been wanting to do for a while and it felt as if the right charity appeared just when I was ready to take something on. I'm now an integral part of the team, working closely with the Chairman and the two co-founders and getting ready to bring the HEROES RUN to London for the first time ever! It'll be taking place on Sunday 1st April 2012 on Clapham Common and if you fancy donning a Super Hero outfit and running 5 or 10K for an incredible cause, click here to sign up.

Anyway, back to the title of this post - the Brighton Half Marathon - only 51 days to go... I know that because I set up my Virgin Giving page for sponsorship and the page kindly told me I had 51 days until the big event. Luckily I have been training fairly seriously for the last 4-5 weeks, otherwise knowing I had 51 days only might have put the fear into me. I wanted to start blogging again, in a somewhat regular fashion, and I thought doing a weekly Half Marathon diary might help. I have to say I've impressed myself with the discipline I've shown towards training (I even ran on Christmas Day in Cambridge) - I'm now running 4 times a week and adverse weather conditions have yet to deter me! The only reason I'm impressed is that discipline like this has never been one of my strong points. However I'm determined to do the race well and I know the only way I can do that is to train properly so I KNOW I can run the distance before I do the race. While I'm happy to wing some things, this is not one of those. Plus working so closely with the charity now adds an extra bit of grit and resolve to my running.

I also have no idea how I'll find the extra distance. I know that I can run 10k but anything beyond that and it's all new to me. I have no idea how my body will react or how I'll feel but that's one of the main reasons that I want to capture it here, as close to real time as possible. I like doing something where I have no idea how it's going to be and charting my progress as I go along. I've found running longer distances easier - once I get beyond 4 miles, it feels so much easier and I feel like I can float on for ages. I'm keeping a close watch on my feet - I have problematic feet and have had since I was a child. The only time I've stayed in hospital was for an operation on both my feet when I was 11. I have this weird bone that grows out of the side of both feet (on the inside), just above where your arches are. As a child it used to cause me untold pain and made both walking and running difficult. The operation was meant to get rid of the extra bone but over the years, its grown back again. Often when I'm running, I'll get a twinge on my left foot but it's never been so bad that it's stopped me so fingers crossed that's the extent of my foot concerns.

In the last two weeks, my long runs have covered 6 miles, 7 miles and 8 miles today. Well those are the distances I'm supposed to have run - I've got a little monitor that checks the distance, just need to set it up properly and I'm good to go. The 6-mile run was great. I was meant to do it on a Friday and whenever I looked out of the window, it was either pouring with rain, hail or snow. I left the run til the next morning and stepped out in sunshine and blue skies. Before I started training properly, I was a bit concerned as to how I'd find running in the winter but the weather has generally been glorious and I've found myself running on cold crisp days with a bright blue sky and sunshine - my ideal kind of running weather. Anyway I set off on my run and half-way through, the heavens opened and the rain came. I kept running. I knew that if I stopped now, that would set the precedent for the future - little bit of bad weather and I call it a day. I ran through the rain and just kept going and then the rain stopped. I was so elated by my lack of wussy behaviour I ran an extra mile!

The 7-mile run the following week was not quite so successful. In fact it's probably been my most difficult run yet. I'd been out the night before and eaten a large 3-course meal which really didn't help matters. I think I was also quite dehydrated. I was too hot very quickly and by the time I got to the Rye where I normally run, I was peeling off extra layers and my scarf. As I haven't got myself a suitable running bag yet, all these layers were tied around my waist and it was only a matter of time before they were falling off and tripping me up. In the end, I hid them all on a park bench and kept my fingers crossed that my little bundle of clothes wouldn't be discovered by anyone who might want them. I'm not sure who would want sweaty running clothes though... The run was further disturbed by needing the toilet - and having to wait until the local cafe opened so I could sneak in. Actually they're very good and always let me use the facilities when it's obvious I'm not a customer. I found the last bit of the running hard too. My hamstrings were starting to feel really tight and ache and that's never happened before - a sign that I need to get back into my ashtanga yoga practice to help with stretching - and stop my calves getting too bulky! They have expanded a little already...

Today's 8-mile run was good. Perfect running weather conditions for me and only had to stop once - again for a toilet break (need to sort that out). One thing I did find though, as this is the week between Christmas and New Year, I have switched off from work completely. Normally when I run, I've got work-related stuff going through my head which helps to distract me from the running, as does the music. My head was very empty of work stuff (so happy I can do that) which should have made for a Zen-like running experience - instead I was too aware of the fact that my right foot was hurting slightly and I had a little blister by the time I got home. Apart from that, all good!

Music I've been running to - I've always been a massive music lover and I think the tunes I listen to between now and the Half Marathon are going to be key, particularly when I do my long runs and increase the distance each week. When I was training for the 10k, the last couple of long runs I did (5 miles and 6 miles), I played Sounds of Blackness "Optimistic" over and over again - it kept me going! Michael Jackson's "Thriller" has been great on some of the shorter runs, anything between 3 - 5 miles. Norman Jay's "Good Times Volume 1 (side 2)" has also played a major part in keeping me going. And today I did my 8 mile run to Arcade Fire, starting with "Funeral" and then on to "Neon Bible". I need to think carefully about music selection and put together a 2-hour playlist (or choose some of my favourite songs and have them on repeat 3 or 4 times - I like to hear them over and over again!) - this is what will help to get me there!

My 30-day challenge - Take 2

How strange. After my last post about my 30-day challenge (when I'd got to Day 17), something happened and it all fell to bits. Literally the next day. I managed to keep up with things that day but by the following day, nothing was happening and I felt awful. My challenge went from being something I'd been finding really quite effortless (it was just a case of being organised and a bit of forward-thinking/planning) to something that felt like a very steep thing to climb. For no apparent reason that I could find...

I'd felt so amazing the first two weeks that I was expecting the last two weeks to be even better. Yet that was not the case. I thought that perhaps my wonky hormones had returned but not only were they still wonky, they were now back-to-front. Such confusion.

So I'm starting the challenge again from tomorrow. To see what it involves, click here. When I've finished this post, I'll get my little chart ready, tape it to the kitchen cabinet and off we go again. I have to admit, I do feel a little apprehensive about how I'll get on but I guess I just need to do it and keep going no matter what! The 30-day Challenge is exactly the same as before but I'm going to add in some daily exercise and see how I get on. I was doing this at the start of the year - I have no idea how I was getting up at 6 most mornings in January so I could go for an early-morning swim but it did happen! The main difference now is that I've been running a lot more these past few months (and in January I was lucky if I could run for 1 minute without needing to stop and walk for a bit) so running doesn't feel like such a chore, in fact at times I really enjoy it! And I've always loved swimming (and my Saturday-morning yoga) so the exercise part should be cool.

There seems to be something about getting past the 3-week mark. When I first did this in January, I got up to 3 weeks okay but then it fizzled out in the last week. It seems to have happened again. I wasn't expecting it to so I know to pay close attention once I'm half-way through. Other things I've noticed. My sleep quality has deteriorated in the past week. It takes me a lot longer to get to sleep and I don't feel quite so rested even if I've slept for a long time. I have absolutely no desire for dairy. I keep trying to tempt myself with some lovely ice cream but then I just think "meh no just don't feel like having it". I've even managed to resist the absolutely amazing home-made mint choc chip ice cream at The Palmerston. Normally I try and sneak a scoop or two at least once a week if I know any is in the freezer. A batch was made about a week ago and I've yet to taste it, I just don't feel like having it. And whenever I've had my beloved Galaxy chocolate (yes 3 bars have been consumed in the last month), I've not actually enjoyed it that much. I don't think I'm off chocolate so much as my taste buds becoming sharper, I think you can tell when you're eating something that perhaps doesn't have the best ingredients. Just need to find myself some superior quality chocolate to have from time to time! So even though my 30-day challenge didn't quite make it, there's still a lasting impact being made on my taste buds.

Wish me luck - my challenge starts tomorrow!

My 30-day challenge - Day 17

So more than half way through and the "challenge" has been going well. I think it's the combination of wrapping it all up as a "challenge" and the fact that I've been trying to get into these good habits since the start of the year and at this fourth or fifth attempt, it feels easier as I've had quite a bit of practice. Also, I was expecting to introduce all these new habits and just be able to do it straight away immediately but then I was reminded of the fact that I'm rarely good at things when I first start and get better and better because I keep trying and don't give up.

I've had day after day after day where I've been able to do all the things on my list. I've just checked my chart and I had a run of 6 days where I did everything - pretty good going for me. The chart is essential and something I'll keep doing forever, particularly as daily discipline is not one of my strong points. The chart has enabled me to get back on track when I've missed doing something and it shows me the things that are most likely to be missed (daily toning exercises). I've realised that although I have to work on daily discipline, I feel good for doing it and I also get the most out of my day - I need structure, organisation and forward-planning to get things done.

Anyone who knows me well will probably know that I've been struggling with wonky hormones and low energy levels for years now. They've never stood in the way of me doing things but I longed for more energy and not to feel so up and down all the time. At their worst, the hormones had me feeling like some Jekyll and Hyde character, up for two weeks, down for two weeks. They're not so bad now thanks to seeing a kinesiologist and identifying the plethora of reasons why they were so bad but there is still a distinct rhythm to my life. I've felt great the last couple of weeks (and they were "down" weeks) and it makes it obvious that what I eat does make a huge impact on how I feel. I can eat rubbish and not put any weight on but it affects my moods enormously and I've only come to realise that in the past few months.

I'm not sure the impact on my energy levels as I've yet to wake up and jump out of bed, bouncing with energy. The only time I really feel like that it's due to adrenaline, I'll wake up at around 4 or 5 and be buzzing with excitement, unable to get back to sleep. As there are some exciting changes just round the corner for me regarding work I know that the adrenaline will soon be back but that's not quite the same as bouncing out of bed with energy. However maybe I'm just not that kind of person - I like to start my morning in a calm, quiet way and prefer no noise or talking for at least the first 30 minutes. Although I aspire to bounce out of bed, raring to go I'm not sure I'd actually like myself if I was like that as I'd be too noisy and energetic for myself!

I have noticed a change in my sleep quality though. The only way I can describe it is that my sleep feels very sweet. It's been blissful and I do wake up refreshed. I am less likely to wake up in the night and I'm not so affected by noise or light. Maybe I'm sleeping deeper too. I've started doing my 20 minutes of meditation just before I go to sleep so I'll do it sat upright in bed. It consists of taking deep breaths in, holding and letting them out again. I make sure that my lungs fill up completely and then exhale fully. I have a little timer next to me and as soon as 20 minutes are up, I'll switch the timer and bedside lamp off and slide down into the bed, turn over and I'm asleep in about 3 seconds. This is brilliant as I had noticed that I was finding it quite difficult to get to sleep recently. It could take half an hour or more to nod off and the longer it took, the more frustrated I'd feel. All change now...

The other thing I've noticed is that my digestive system is working well through the night (which is what it's meant to do). However we put so much into our bodies that we find difficult to digest or use up excessive energy trying to do so. I have to admit, I am slightly obsessed with bowel movements (if you're not comfortable with this kind of topic, don't read this paragraph). I could go for days without having one or even worse, you can feel it there but it just isn't coming out. I would drink coffee or tea for the specific reason of clearing out my insides but longed for my insides to work properly so I wouldn't have to resort to there kinds of tactics to make me go. I think as I'm quite small in frame, having a few days worth of poo stuck in my system would just make me feel horribly uncomfortable and would always feel a bit disappointed if only a small one came out. On the other hand, a big poo where you feel everything has come out makes me actually feel quite euphoric! Since day 5, my digestive system has got into a regular rhythm and soon after I wake, it's time to go. I feel like everything is coming out without much effort from me and that sensation of "all backed up but nothing coming out" has pretty much disappeared. At times I've not even felt anything until it's time to go.

I think a number of things are responsible. Cutting out things from my diet that I find difficult to digest or just aren't good for me obviously helps. I'm probably having about 10 portions of fruit, veg or salad a day so lots more fibre coming my way. Drinking 2L of water a day definitely helps and keeps everything hydrated and working well. But I think the main thing is the flaxseed. I have a large tablespoon mixed in with a fresh vegetable juice and it is working wonders. I missed my juice and flax seed on Monday for a number of reasons and it's thrown my digestive system out again and I'm now just waiting for it to get back into it's rhythm again.

All in all my challenge is going well. I've seen a number of positive results already and I feel more tuned in to what my body needs or wants. I'm sure that whenever I've eaten junk food my body has responded by making me feel like rubbish but I've always put that down to wonky hormones when actually other things were the culprit! I know that when the 30-days are over, another 30-day challenge of all the same things will start again as this is less a one-off thing, more a way of living a healthier way.

My 30-day challenge

I've just set myself a 30-day challenge to get into some good habits and I thought I'd write about it as it may help me to stick to what I've set out to do. I think the word "challenge" has got something to do with it - give me something to work towards or something to achieve and I do it. Doing just for the sake of doing never seems to work for me.

I've realised this recently. When I wrote my post about the psychology of running and how I felt like I could run beyond 5k for the first time ever, not only did I write about it, I also told anyone who would listen. When I told my friend Nikki she said "want to do a 10k race in the middle of May then?" It was four weeks away and although I felt like I could run beyond 5k, I hadn't actually done it. But I agreed to the race, it sounded like fun as we had to dress up as Super Heroes and it meant a day down in Brighton raising money to help build schools in Africa via a wonderful grassroots charity called Passing It On. Once I'd agreed to do the race I told a few people because if I know I say to others I'm going to do something, that's what will happen.

A couple of days after agreeing to do the run, I got up early to start training. I felt awful and didn't want to get out of bed but I thought I was just being wimpy so I hauled myself out, got ready and went down to Peckham Rye and did a 40-minute run. I didn't have quite the same euphoria as I'd had the day I'd written my running post but I ran for the time without stopping and it was the first time I'd run beyond half an hour. Afterwards I went to work and as the day progressed, I felt worse and worse. I had been coming down with some sort of sneezy/coldy/flu thing and that's why I'd felt dreadful when I'd woken up but I thought I was just trying to get out of running and stay in bed a bit longer and so I'd forced myself. When the illness fully took hold I couldn't run at all and lost about 10 days in my training schedule. The thought did cross my mind about not doing the race as I wasn't sure I could get up to 10k in the time now but I decided that I had said I would do it and I would be my word and just get on with it. I also set two other criteria for myself - I wanted to run the whole race (no walking for me then but Super Heroes don't walk!) and I wanted to complete it in an hour. I carried on running, working my way up to running for 50 minutes and then an hour. We did the race last weekend, it was great fun and I ran the whole 10k, finishing a few minutes after an hour so very pleased with myself. We've now said we're going to do a half marathon in the autumn. I also realised that I'd got up to running 10k a lot quicker than if I'd been just working my way up to it without any kind of goal or challenge to work towards and that's why I've set myself this 30-day challenge.

The things I have to do or not do for the next 30 days are things I've been trying to get into the habit of doing on and off since the start of the year. They aren't difficult, they don't take up much time and can easily be incorporated into your daily routine and they are all things that are good for me and will help sort out my energy levels amongst other things. However I've realised that daily disciplines just don't seem to be my thing. I can take a massive leap of faith and do things that would send most people scurrying away in alarm but doing little things consistently, day in, day out, well this kind of discipline is something that is new to me and I'm learning now. I realised that one of the reasons that my good intentions drift away after a few days is that I had no way of charting progress or any system that would bring me back on track if I missed out on something for a day or two. I've lost count of the number of times I've tried to get into the habit of drinking 2 litres of water a day. I'd do it for a few days, maybe a week or two and then something would happen and I'd forget to drink any water or I'd be out all day without my 2L with me. One day would turn into two days and before I knew it, I wouldn't be drinking any water at all, sometimes for a few days at a time. This is just one example but there are many similar ones. And why is it so easy to get into the habit of doing bad things every day so easily? I could drink a can of coke every day even though I know it's not good for me and the sugar will make my teeth fall out and surges of sugar make me very up and down. I always thought it was wonky hormones that caused this but I wouldn't be surprised if it was actually coca cola!

To help myself I've started using charts this year where I can tick off things as I do them on a daily basis and to remind me of the things still outstanding. Interesting tactics but they work for me to some extent and I need some kind of record as my list of things to do or not do currently stands at 19 things a day and I need some sort of chart just to remember if I've done something or not. Even with my chart I could be a bit haphazard with sticking to what I was meant to be doing. But with no chart at all I noticed I slipped quickly and easily into old bad habits so the chart is back and it's here to stay. Doing the 10k race made me realise that I can do things beyond what I thought if I feel like there's some sort of challenge or I'm working towards something. Even publicly declaring my intention to do something makes it easier for me to stick to my word as I've never been one of those people who talks a lot but does little. I tend to say what I'm going to do and then do it.

Here are the daily things in my 30-day challenge (they are in the order that they happen from morning to night)

1. Hot water and lemon
2. 3 sun salutations A and B
3. Dry brushing
4. Flax seed
5. Fresh juice
6. Daily yoghurt
7. Toning exercises
8. Supplements
9. 2L water
10. No coffee/caffeine
11. No dairy (but I can have goats or sheep products)
12. No sugar
13. No wheat
14. No fizzy drinks
15. No junk food
16. No peanuts
17. No alcohol
18. Meditation
19. Night-time routine

All the things I'm not supposed to have are things recommended to me by the kinesiologist last year. When I was first told to give these things up as much as possible, I practically cried. All I could think about was how difficult it would be to give things up. But this year although I haven't followed all my points all the time, I have had periods of time where I've been very good (longest period being 3 weeks) and my shopping habits and taste buds have changed vastly, so much so I don't even miss the things I thought I couldn't live without. I haven't bought butter once this year. I never thought that day would come as I love butter. As a child I would cut the corner off a block of Anchor butter and pop it into my mouth and happily wait for it to dissolve. Now I do without and I don't seem to miss it. Cutting out dairy has not been as difficult as I imagined. I've switched to rice milk for porridge, have goat's yoghurt instead of Greek yoghurt and have fun discovering all the different goats and ewe's cheeses that are available. The one thing I won't give up even when I'm being very good is ice cream but even then I find that I don't actually want it that often and when I do, I can't eat that much.

So, over time it's gotten easier to give things up but getting into a daily routine is the area where I really struggle. None of the things I'm supposed to do or not do make any immediate impact on me. I don't have allergies to the foods I'm not supposed to have, they don't make me ill but they do affect my energy levels. I read a book recently "The Slight Edge" by Jeff Olsen and it really resonated with me. It talked about the importance of doing little things every day and how difficult it can be to do them as it doesn't make any difference on your life today if you do them or you don't to them. They're easy to do and they're easy not to do. But these little things over time do add up to big things and you want the little things you do every day to be good things, not bad things. I have to admit, the book did scare me a little as I know I'm nowhere near good as I should be. I can eat badly and get away with it as I don't really put on weight but a bad diet affects my mood enormously and I do need to pay attention to this. As daily discipline doesn't seem to be my thing, I've had to wrap it up in something I do understand - a challenge and see how I get on with that. I'll come back and write up my progress, ideally on a weekly basis. It'll be good to capture how I'm getting on and more importantly how I'm feeling as I think that will all help to keep me on track.

Progress so far as today is the end of day 2. So far so good. I've got a long line of ticks on my chart for yesterday and today. More of the same tomorrow then!

The Power of a few words of encouragement and belief...

...they can literally change a life.

In my late teens the thought that dominated my mind was how I was going to live a live completely different to the one I was supposed to live. Coming from a traditional Pakistani Muslim family, the life earmarked for me was a little like this - be a good, dutiful daughter, have an arranged marriage to someone chosen by my parents, be a good dutiful wife and mother - the end. I would have lived in the family home until I got married and then I would have gone to live with my husband or his family. In the run-up to the wedding I might have been able to spend a bit of time getting to know my future husband but it wouldn't have been the same as going out with someone as we know it here. I could be nothing less than a virgin on my wedding night. At quite a young age I'd decided I didn't want this kind of life, it didn't sound like much fun and I had a morbid fear of being forced into an arranged marriage. I didn't know how to change things but I knew there had to be a way and I was determined to find it. As I possessed the number one and number two top requirements for an arranged marriage (British passport and pale skin), I avoided going to Pakistan between the age of 11 and 18, coming up with one excuse after another. I refused to go into the kitchen with my mum and learn how to cook traditional food as I thought if I couldn't cook Pakistani food for my husband and his family, I wouldn't be such a great prospect. That was my strategy until I found another way.

In Pakistani culture, independence is not encouraged amongst girls. The family, including the extended family or the in-laws, can dictate how you live your life. I'd experienced this once already when I was 14 or 15. I was horse-mad as a teenager and worked at the local riding school from the age of 12. Holidays were spent at the riding school and one summer one of my aunts was visiting with her family. She thoroughly disapproved of the amount of time I spent away from the home and on her return to Pakistan, she complained to my grandmother. A very stern letter was written to my dad telling him he had to tell me to stop riding and he did just that. He couldn't explain why I had to stop riding but that's what I had to do. I refused and so he responded by saying that he wasn't going to pay for my riding lessons any more. "Fine I'll pay for them myself using my pocket money" I replied. He couldn't stop my pocket money as I hadn't done anything wrong so I carried on riding and working at the riding school, paying for my lessons out of my pocket money. This incident was a stark reminder of what the culture can be like and I really didn't want my whole life to be a series of incidents like that.

At the age of 16 I got a part-time job in the restaurant of a Dulwich Village pub. It was an accident getting the job - I'd gone there to see the former manageress of the riding school who was working there after leaving under mysterious circumstances. I crept in hoping no one from the Pakistani community would see me, a Muslim girl going into a pub - I came out with a job. I had to keep the exact location of my job a secret from the family as they would have been horrified that I was working in a place where alcohol was served (even though I was technically too young to serve alcohol) - however my dad knew all along exactly where I was working. He offered to give me a lift to work one Sunday morning and as we got into Dulwich Village, I kept saying "it's okay, you can drop me off here..." My dad kept on driving and pulled up right outside the pub. As I sat there alarmed, waiting for the tirade, all my dad said was "I know where you work, it's okay with me. But you know what the Pakistani community is like and how they talk so best not to tell anyone where you work" - at that point I realised my dad was on my side and has been ever since.

A few months after I started working there the management changed and Barbara and Graham came into my life. Larger than life and exuding glamour, they had both worked at Playboy before, Barbara as a Playboy Bunny and Graham as a croupier. On meeting them I was immediately petrified but we soon struck up a great working friendship. Barbara took me under her wing and taught me so much about the world of work, building excellent customer relations and running a good business. Under their guidance I flourished, which was just as well as academically things were not going so well and I messed up my A Levels and missed going to university. But a few weeks short of my 19th birthday, they said some words to me that would literally go on to change my life:

"You will achieve anything you set your mind to".

The reason for such a profound statement was that I'd just bought my first car and had proudly driven to work. When I'd passed my driving test my dad had said that he'd buy me a little car, just as he'd done for my older sister. However there was one problem, my dad wanted to get a Nissan and I wanted a Volkswagen Beetle. We're both stubborn and neither would budge and I resolved the situation by declaring that I would buy a Beetle myself, undeterred by the fact that I was earning £30 a week. I handed over my cheque book to Barbara and Graham (it was the days before cash cards) with strict instructions to lock it in the safe and not return it to me until I was ready to buy the car. I thought it would be quite cool to buy my first car at the age of 18

and for a year I worked and saved. A few weeks before my 19th birthday I'd saved enough and found a beautiful red VW Beetle and purchased my first car. Having witnessed the whole process, Barbara and Graham realised I had the ability to decide what I wanted and do what it took to make it happen, even though I was completely oblivious to what I'd just done. And those magical words "You will achieve anything you set your mind to" literally did change my life. I realised what it meant to have a dream (the car) and turn it into reality but more than that, I realised that if I was independent, if I succeeded with work, stood on my own two feet and paid my way, then maybe, just maybe I wouldn't get married off - it was a revelation! Barbara and Graham made me believe I would achieve anything I set my mind to even though I had failed my A levels and didn't think my life would amount to much. Their belief in me ignited a belief in myself so strong that I pelted through the next decade (the international years) doing lots, achieving lots, living life to the fullest. It certainly wasn't the life of a traditional Pakistani girl.

I've been enormously lucky as Barbara and Graham weren't the only ones to encourage me and believe in me. When I worked at Bell Pottinger Consultants, I affectionately referred to Stephen and Graham as my two wise men. When I was made redundant along with seven other Consultants, both asked to speak to me before I left. I had no idea what they were going to say and I was slightly stunned when they said pretty much the same thing:

" I have no idea what you're going to do but I know you will be successful. You can spot someone who has that quality and you have it. You're one of life's winners".

To hear these words from two highly accomplished gentlemen meant more than the redundancy package. Their words gave me hope at an otherwise distressing, traumatic time and they inspired me to look beyond just getting another job, to do something a little bold. My first idea was to move to South Africa and work there. I planned a three-week trip as soon as I left the Consultancy and flew to Johannesburg for a round of first interviews. I then spent two and a half weeks travelling across the country to Cape Town and finally flew back to Johannesburg for second interviews. As soon as I arrived in Johannesburg a gut feeling told me that South Africa wasn't the right move for me and although my second interviews went well, I decided against taking anything up and flew back to London. By going out to South Africa and exploring the opportunity and ultimately deciding it wasn't right for me, I've never had any regrets about it - I didn't just think about something I wanted to do, I went and explored the opportunity before deciding no.

Once back in London and with my wise men's words ringing in my ears, somehow I came up with the brave, bold or bonkers idea to set up an interiors business even though I had no training, experience or client base. I sincerely believe that it was Stephen and Graham's words of encouragement and belief that gave me the courage to look at what I really wanted to do and then go for it. I had absolutely no experience of setting up or running a business but I had this idea, this belief in my heart that refused to go away. After all my two wise men had said I would be successful so why not take a real leap of faith. Even now I'm amazed that I took this seed of an idea and made it happen, just put my head down and got on with it. From the start the point I focused on was the launch party, that was the place I was aiming to get to and I used to think about the party and how I wanted it to be from the very start. I even asked two friends Frank Tope and Tayo if they'd come and DJ at the launch party - this was probably a week after I'd had the idea and up til then they'd known me doing something international so here I was, talking about doing something completely different and having a launch party. I must have convinced them it was going to happen because they both said yes! To see how this little seed of an idea turned out click here

Ironically once I moved into interiors and embarked on the entrepreneurial life, I was approached to work on a couple of high-level International Relations projects - the Global Leadership Foundation and the British Ukrainian Society (both times my name had been recommended by Graham from Bell Pottinger). It was with these two projects that I finally felt a sense of real achievement and fulfilment in my "career" job. It was at the British Ukrainian Society that I had the pleasure of working with Richard Spring and I learnt so much from him, not only the joy of a team working in unison but also about not giving up, never giving up, going forwards, always going forwards and ultimately achieving results far greater than you'd ever imagined. If the people already mentioned had inspired me to take action, then Richard really inspired me to keep going when I found things difficult and challenging and I was ready to give up. He showed me what a leader is, someone who gets you to do more, achieve more, to keep going when you want to give up and go way beyond what you thought possible. It's amazing to look back when you've had these kind of experiences and see what you've achieved. And if I'd gone for another job after Bell Pottinger, done the normal or safe thing, I would never have been able to take on these projects but working for myself meant I could say yes to some incredible opportunities.

I've always been very aware of the people who have inspired me, believed in me, made me feel that anything was possible. I've been encouraged to discover what my potential could be and I've never forgotten how these people have been a catalyst to the life I've gone on to lead - at times very much a case of ordinary person, extraordinary life. Sometimes I look over my CV and think "you failed your A levels, missed out on university first time round and yet you've done all of this" - some amazing experiences, extraordinary opportunities and incredible friendships. My family obviously played a big part too as when you bring into the equation that I'm from a fairly traditional Pakistani Muslim family, the life I've led can be seen as quite different from the normal perspective but from the Pakistani perspective it does go off the scale somewhat. But my dad spoke some very wise words to me when I was at university. There was the chance to study in America as part of a student exchange, there was only one place available and I decided I wanted to go and I would be the best person for my university to send. When I spoke to my dad about this opportunity, he told me to go for it (or whatever his words would have been in Urdu). He said you had to take opportunities whenever they came along as they may never come again - so I listened to his wise words and just went for it, taking opportunities as they came and creating a few along the way.

I believe this is for everyone, an amazing life is out there for anyone, anyone who has a bit of drive and desire, takes responsibility for how their life turns out and has a positive frame of mind. Sometimes it just takes another person to have a bit of belief in them and to say "You can do it!" I know that a few words of support, encouragement and belief can literally change a life - that change could be tiny or it could be massive and I believe this should be for everyone, not just some lucky person like myself who happened to be around some life-changing people at various points in time. If I can do it, then anyone can do it - sometimes all it takes is a little nudge, a bit of belief or some positive support and words of encouragement. It's been given to me and it's time to give it back a hundred times over.

As I embark on the next bit of my adventure, putting together an Arbonne team and leading them to success, I know this is my way of giving a life-changing opportunity to everyone I know. Not everyone may want it but the least I can do is to share it and be generous with this gift. This is also my way of saying "thank you" to the people in my life who have believed in me, encouraged me and supported me along the way. In addition to the people mentioned here, I have my family and numerous friends who have done that for me - whenever I do one of my email updates, I always get some lovely words of support and encouragement and I believe that these kept me going at times when I hit a difficult patch. I feel so excited about the next chapter and it's good to feel like this again. I've had some time to rest and reflect and it's now time to move forwards again. I've had time to think about the life-changing impact that some people's words have had on me and I know that more than anything, I want to do that for others. If I can make a difference in one person's life, if I can instil in someone that sense of "you can achieve anything you set your mind to", if I can inspire someone to be the best they can be by sharing my stories, anecdotes and any other wisdom I've picked up along the way, then I know I'm doing something of value and that gives me a sense of purpose that fills me with excitement and joy!

On running....

At the start of the year, I made the decision to be more healthy and see it through as opposed to letting it peter out a few weeks later. I've been learning about how I work best when trying to become more disciplined and learn a new routine and good habits. It's been fascinating - I never realised until a few months ago how easily I could create a new habit (like drinking 2L water a day) if I had a little chart and ticked off my progress on a day-to-day basis. Something we use with children all the time, never thought to use it for myself until I read about in a book last summer...

As well as eating well and drinking water and all that sort of stuff, I decided to start doing exercise on a daily basis. My two exercise loves are swimming and yoga but as I didn't want to do just those two every day I decided to start running again. I've never really had a running "high" like I've had with swimming or yoga. For me it's been something that has an element of convenience - I can do it anywhere, it doesn't require going somewhere special and it doesn't cost anything (apart from the initial outlay on a really good pair of running shoes and appropriate running clothes). But I never got anything out of it emotionally, just the knowledge that in some way it was doing me some good. That's until I started running on Peckham Rye. I don't know anything about the psychology of running but for some reason I find it easier to run on the wide open space of Peckham Rye than I do for the same time and distance around the horse-riding track in Dulwich Park. I would have thought it the other way but not so. I find it easier to zone out on Peckham Rye, surrounded on three sides by traffic - everyone going somewhere but no-one paying any attention to you. In Dulwich Park it's different. It feels smaller, more enclosed. Often you can only see a small part of the path you're going to be running on ahead of you but it feels more of a struggle. You're constantly aware of the people and children and dogs and bikes and runners around you, there are more distractions and you have to focus more.

The furthest I've ever run is 5k - for me that takes half an hour and is three times round Dulwich Park. Although I could build up to 5k without too much trouble, I've never felt like I could go beyond that. Until today. Although I may have made it sound like I've turned into this super-healthy fitness freak exercising every day, the actual reality is that although the intention is there, I think there's only been one week where I have actually exercised every day (and I felt absolutely amazing!). And as I've never felt any sense of joy running, it's there on my list but I have to force myself to do it. On Peckham Rye it all feels very different....

I started running there a few weeks ago. I woke fairly early one Monday morning and realising that it was a glorious sunny morning, I wanted to go for a run. Most times I force myself to go for a run so to actually want to do it was quite something. As it was about half past seven the park was still closed and I didn't want to miss this golden opportunity so I ran down to Peckham Rye and ran round once. And there was something about that wide open space that made it feel easier. The next time I ran I went back to the park but struggled with the same distance that I'd done quite easily on Peckham Rye. I've stopped running in the park now.

The last time I ran on Peckham Rye I ran for 20 minutes. This may not seem like a particularly long time for anyone who runs a lot but I'd been struggling with increasing my time running without stopping. In the park I couldn't even do a few minutes without stopping and walking round part of the track so to suddenly be able to find myself going for 10 minutes, 11 minutes, 15 minutes and then 20 minutes was something of an achievement. I ran today and decided to do 20 minutes again. My plan was to run 20 minutes a few times before trying to increase it to 25 minutes. But today as I got closer to my allocated time I felt like I could keep going. So I did. For another 10 minutes. Now the last time I ran for 30 minutes non-stop (which is about 3 miles or 5k for me) was two years ago. It felt good to run for that length of time again. And the best thing? I felt like I could have kept running a bit more. So that's what I'm going to do next time I run. Actually it was quite amazing to feel like I could have kept going. When I slowed down to a walk my legs did feel quite strange, as if they were full of air but that didn't last long and I didn't collapse.

So now I'm pondering the psychology of running. Is part of it finding the right kind of environment for you to run in? The thought of running on a treadmill in the gym fills me with dread but not every outdoors environment seems to work either. I never thought having that wide open space surrounded by London commuter traffic would work for me but in some strange way it does. I'm more aware of the nature around me - when I started running on the rye, the daffodils were just starting to bloom and today I noticed that they had come to their shrivelled demise but look up and some of the trees were ripe with thick pink blossom, the kind that reminds me of Japan. There are fewer restrictions with the rye as it's open and I can run at any time so long as there's enough light. As the mornings get light earlier, I can run at any time I want whereas with Dulwich Park the earliest time you can go in is 8, regardless of what time the sun rose and the birds started singing.

And now I want to go and run again and see how far I can go. There's something quite exciting about knowing you're going to do something that you'd always had a limit on but now you can go beyond. I know I can run more that 30 minutes and do that easily. What I don't know is how far I can run and that's what I'm going to find out. I've already started thinking about half-marathons....