Vipassana Meditation - part two

I've done it, I've completed my first Vipassana meditation course! It was an amazing experience, quite possibly one of the best things I have ever done. It wasn't easy though but at least I didn't have any thoughts of wanting to leave during the course. 

The course was conducted at the Dhamma Neru centre, about an hour's train ride out of Barcelona - far away from the hustle and bustle of city life but not too far away in the sticks. 

After arrival and registration, we had a light evening meal, a talk about the course and what was expected of us and then our first meditation. We had to observe "Noble Silence" from that evening on. That meant no talking to anyone apart from the teacher or the manager and even then you had to whisper so as not to disturb anyone else. There was to be absolutely no communication between meditators and no eye contact. Men and women were completely segregated - the only time we were together was in the meditation hall but even then we sat on different sides, came in through different doors, even had different mats and blankets - everything was kept completely separate.

The next morning, we were woken at 4.00 by the sound of a gong being rung three times. The daily timetable was fairly similar for the ten days (apart from the last day), things starting or finishing by the sound of the gong being rung three times. We started our daily meditations at 4.30, with breakfast at 6.30. Over the course of the day, we'd meditate for just over ten hours. Before this, my meditation had been limited to no more than half an hour so it was quite a leap! The first few days, I couldn't sit in any position for longer than about five minutes as something would start hurting. This constant fidgeting and moving meant that I couldn't concentrate on the meditating. Then if I did find a position where I could sit still for a while, I found myself falling asleep! 

Although I struggled with the "sitting still" part of meditating in the beginning, I didn't find Noble Silence difficult to do. I think it helps if you're doing the course on your own - you don't know the other people so there's less temptation to want to talk to them. What was more difficult was to try and stop the incessant chattering going on in my head, particularly when I was trying to meditate. 

The days came and went and we were guided through the process of meditating. Being cut off completely from the outside world and all the days following a similar timetable meant that you soon lost track of what day it was, whether it was a weekday or the weekend. We lived like monks, moving silently from dormitory to meditation hall to dining room. For the first five days, I stayed within the boundaries of the courtyard, even though we could go out into the gardens for a walk. My whole life existed around the courtyard. I don't know why I didn't go out, it just didn't cross my mind. 

On the fourth day, I woke at 4.00 to the sound of the gong being rung and thought "no, I want a lie in, I want to sleep more" - although I wasn't actually tired. I went back to sleep after deciding to miss the first meditation and just get up for breakfast. My plan didn't quite work as at exactly 4.30, there was a little voice by my head going "Azra, get up, it's time to meditate. Azra, get up, it's time to meditate" - the manager had spotted my slumbering self! I went into the meditation hall and found that sitting in one position was now causing more discomfort than ever before. I constantly shuffled from this side to that, from this position to another, my pile of cushions going up and down in the hope that within the cushions I might find some comfort. Later that afternoon, we were asked to try and sit completely still for an hour during the group meditations. This meant sitting in your chosen position (in my case cross-legged) with your hands clasped and eyes closed and trying not to move at all for an hour. Although that morning I hadn't been able to sit still for more than a few minutes, as soon as there was a goal we had to try and attain, my competitive side rose up and made sure I did it! 

There were three group meditations a day and after the fourth day, you had to try and sit still for all three, each being an hour long. The first couple of days, I managed two sittings but would always have to move during the third. It was a great feeling when I finally managed to do all three sittings in the day without moving an inch.

On the tenth day, Noble Silence ended and we were able to talk to each other (although we still had to observe Noble Silence in or around the meditation halls). It was great to be able to talk to people but after a while it seemed a bit noisy. The people on the course suddenly took on personalities and you realised how difficult it is to garner any knowledge of someone's personality without being able to talk or communicate in any way. You don't know how they sound or what they're like - on day ten it was as if everyone came alive and there was a lot of animated chattering! 

Once we could talk again, someone raised the question of why everyone was brushing their teeth the whole time. It was true, it didn't matter what time you went into the bathroom, there would always be someone brushing their teeth. It was particularly busy after meals. Even I found myself brushing my teeth three times a day but that was because of the different timetable we were following - I'd brush my teeth as soon as I got up. After breakfast, there'd be an hour free that I used for taking a nap. That meant that I didn't take a shower til after lunch at which time I'd brush my teeth again, and then once again before bed. This increased teeth-brushing meant that by the last day I'd run out of toothpaste and as I saw my supplies diminish, I wondered what I'd do if I ran out before the end of the course. I couldn't borrow from anyone else as I wouldn't be able to communicate what I needed. I couldn't just help myself to someone's tube of toothpaste as that might be seen as stealing. In the end, I decided not to worry about it unless it happened!

It turned out that most people were brushing their teeth four or five times a day just as it was something to do, they were bored. It made me realise that although at times I'd found my time there difficult, I'd never felt bored. Another girl I spoke to told me that every day she'd have to fight the urge to leave. I was surprised hearing this as during the meditations, she had looked so calm and serene, in comparison to my constantly fidgeting self! But once again, I never felt any urge to leave or escape - I was happy to be where I was, doing what I was doing. 

Although at times difficult and intense, ultimately the course was a wonderful experience and I have vowed to continue with my daily meditation practice. There's a group that meets on a weekly basis to meditate in Ibiza so I'm going to make that a part of my weekly routine. After the course, one of my friends asked me what had prompted me to do it. I'd been wanting to start meditating on a daily basis but didn't really know how to do it. I thought that a daily meditation would help to keep me grounded and centred - it doesn't matter how wonderful your life is, things do still happen and I want to feel that I'm in a good position to handle anything that comes my way. Also, when I look back over my life so far, so many amazing things have happened, I've had so many wonderful opportunities and I wanted a daily meditation where I could say thank-you for everything that's happened so far - I have a lot to be thankful for! Finally the course showed me how to deal with an issue that up until now, I'd been aware of but never dealt with it properly. Awareness alone is not enough!

I'd recommend this course to everyone! It's non-sectarian so it's open to everyone, regardless of religious beliefs. It follows the universal laws of nature and therefore isn't aligned to any one religion. It encourages all beings to be happy and to live a life that is full of love and compassion, harmony and goodwill. There's no guilt involved to try and make people take action. And as the course is free, it is open to everyone - anyone who has completed a course can make a donation at the end based on their own financial position. 

Now that I'm home, it's up to me to keep up my daily practice. I've done it so far. It's not easy though - whenever it's time, I have a little voice going "I don't want to do this". But I've ignored it and got on with the meditating. As I'm not working at the moment, I can get up at any time I want although I've worked out that once I do start working, I'd have to get up at 5.30 to meditate for an hour if I still want to fit in my daily swim before the working day starts. The alarm was set for 5.30 this morning. When it went off, I turned it off and went back to sleep. When I woke up a couple of hours later, I started meditating. But by then, Bea was up and I realised that even the smallest sounds were a distraction to my meditation. So I've now got to be disciplined and start getting up at 5.30 to meditate as it will be dark and quiet and easier to concentrate on the meditation. I know it would be so easy to do nothing but I have so much to gain from daily practice that I'm determined to make it a part of my life. I've come to Ibiza for a better quality of life and this can only help add to that!  

Vipassana Meditation

I´m in Barcelona writing this from the comfort of an internet place called EasyInternet.com but it has nothing to do with Stelios. I´m surprised they´re still managing to operate under that name. I haven´t used an internet shop for over a year and I haven´t missed it. The keyboard is awful, all the keys keep sticking and you end up getting very frustrated as you miss out letters and have to go back. Just as well I´m only here for the hour....

Anyway, I digress. I´m in Barcelona, about to go on a meditation retreat for 10 days. 10 full days of meditating, no talking, no looking at anyone else and not very much food. The longest I´ve meditated for is about 10 minutes so I´m curious to see how I get on. I´ve heard great things about the Vipassana retreats so will be interesting to experience it myself. 10 days with no contact with the outside world - no mobiles, no internet, nothing.

I´ll come back and blog after the retreat - now I´ve got to stop using this awful keyboard as it´s driving me crazy!

It's not often that.....

...you get photographed with the former President of South Africa so I've decided to put a post in about this picture.

The photo was taken in March 2004, at the end of the inaugural weekend for the Global Leadership Foundation. I've got a big smile on my face as it was up to me to organise everything (apart from what was discussed in the meetings) and the weekend went really well, everyone was very happy and I was asked back the following year to organise the annual AGM.

Reading this, you may be thinking "but I thought she worked in interiors?". It's true, I do. But before I moved into interiors, I worked as an international relations consultant, gaining invaluable experience at the Foreign Office and Bell Pottinger Consultants. The experience was unique, high-level and basically I think I developed a reputation for delivering results, even with things I'd never done before. After I moved into interiors, I'd still get calls to do one-off international relations projects so, at times, I'd find my life moving between the two - I think it's known as a portfolio career. Although I don't think portfolio careers usually see you doing two things that are so vastly different.

The Global Leadership Foundation (GLF) is a not-for-profit organisation with the aim of helping national leaders who face complex economic and political challenges by providing confidential advice, especially but not exclusively in the developing world and emerging markets. The GLF, chaired by FW de Klerk, President of South Africa (1989-1994), is a group of former national leaders, all internationally respected with a wealth of experience in dealing with complex issues of state. The group meet annually, the first time being the inaugural weekend in March 2004.

I remember when I got the call from Graham Barr at Bell Pottinger. I was busy decorating a house down on the south coast and thought Graham had called as he had an interiors project for me. I sat down and he talked me through the GLF project. I'd already heard about the project while I was at Bell Pottinger but at that time, it was still an idea being discussed, nothing concrete had been established. By the beginning of 2004, the GLF project had moved forwards considerably and was ready to be launched with an inaugural weekend that would involve the members flying in from all around the world to attend. All they needed was someone to organise the weekend and I got that call. My time at the Foreign Office had seen me organising media arrangements for visits by Heads of State and Government so I had experience of working at the national level but nothing quite like the GLF project.

I went in for a meeting with Graham to talk about the project in greater detail. Although I'd never done anything like this before, I came to the conclusion that all my past experience put together would enable me to deliver successfully. There are so many variables you have to consider in order to make sure everything comes together beautifully. You sometimes have very delicate egos to manage and be prepared for any last-minute disasters.

I spent a month preparing for the launch which took place at Chevening, the Foreign Secretary's country residence. Our first former President was arriving early on the Friday morning so I had to be there in advance to meet him on arrival. I turned up in my normal mode of transport, my little white van. When I arrived, the Chevening staff said I could leave my car in front of the house, on the beautiful sweeping drive. I pointed out of the window to the vehicle and said perhaps it would be better if I parked out of sight - one of the more amusing times that my two different worlds have collided!

The weekend went really well. It was an honour to work closely with FW and he was delightful to work with. But even with the most meticulous planning, things can and will go wrong. We lost a President on the Friday night. His High Commission had decided to pick him up from the airport and bring him to Chevening. I'd offered our car service but the High Commission wanted to look after their own President. But they never did a reconnaissance trip from the airport to Chevening and found themselves lost. A thick fog had descended and they were trying to find their way round narrow country roads for the house. In the end, one of the fantastic members of Chevening staff guided them in over the phone. Once our missing President was safely on site, I could relax a little.

The rest of the weekend went very smoothly and FW was happy with the launch of the GLF. I was asked back the following year to organise the AGM which I went back to do, once again juggling interiors and international relations. It was off the back of the GLF projects that I was asked to be involved with the British Ukrainian Society. If you've read my post about the Society, you'll know how much I loved that project - it always makes me smile that two of my most interesting international relations projects, where I've had the greatest responsibility have come about after I left that world!

Day 2 of Habitat 2008

Habitat 2008 kicked off yesterday evening at 1800 on the dot. Preparing for the exhibition had gone well and we left yesterday at 1230, stand all set up and ready to. Others were still frantically doing last-minute preparations to meet the 1400 deadline and the stand opposite us had yet to make an appearance. We wondered if that space would be filled or whether we'd have to spend the whole exhibition staring at an empty stand. 

Once the stand was ready, I quickly went round the other stands to see what everyone else was doing. Our stand certainly looked completely different to all the others (that's not it in the photo, I'll put some up tomorrow). I wanted to create a space where people would come and sit for a while, browse through the interiors magazines and books, look at the website and generally be inspired. I've achieved the look, the people just need to stop and hang out there for a while now. We've been busy handing out the interiors postcards, there's been quite a lot of media coverage and we did well with today's "Diario" - an article, photo and ad in the "Habitat" supplement and two extra photos of the stand - our stand is certainly more colourful than the furniture shop stands and feels more like a real room. I guess it also photographs well - using colour makes it more interesting.  

When we came back yesterday at 1700, the stand opposite us had been set up with massage chairs and cushions. We've made friends with the guys on that stand, they're enjoying the music on our stand and we're enjoying the massage chairs. I'm glad that space has been filled with some fun people - some of the stands are very techy!

All the Ibiza officials were at the show yesterday, as were the press. I was introduced to the official delegation and even the organisers are using the line "this is the first time someone British has exhibited at Habitat" - it paid off to push that to them. 

It's now Saturday afternoon leading up to lunch time. It's still fairly quiet, some families here with their children. The children are enjoying the sweets on the stand. The visitors are mainly locals from Ibiza, a few members from the international community here and there. Not being able to really speak to anyone in Spanish reiterates the point to me that I need to put learning Spanish as my next priority, after promoting the work. I've had one interesting conversation so far with a French property developer. I've offered our interior design services for any further development projects. I've yet to see anyone I know - I hope people come down, it'll be more fun when you've got friends hanging out at your stand. That's also when the general public will see that you can sit down here, read the papers and take it easy. So far, no one has ventured in and sat down - apart from me and Bea!

Will be interesting to see if the coverage in the "Diario" encourages people to come and find out more. The British Consul dropped by the stand in the late afternoon. I'd sent her a letter of invitation, telling her that I'd be exhibiting so it was good to see her here. She'd seen the piece in the "Diario" - I'm starting to make myself known on the island.

Late afternoon has been a lot busier than the morning. I'm not sure they will have the 15,000 people that are supposed to attend. If that's the case, it will be absolutely rammed all day tomorrow as there are a lot of numbers to be made up. We've had friends visiting the stand which has been lovely - hopefully we'll see more familiar faces tomorrow! 

Habitat 2008

Suddenly realised that although I've mentioned the interiors exhibition I'll be at this weekend, I hadn't really gone into any detail - so here they are!

The exhibition is called Habitat 2008 and is being held at the Ibiza Exhibition Centre between the 4th - 6th April. It has mainly Spanish exhibitors and Spanish visitors but we're going to try and make it more international!

I'll be the first British person to exhibit there and actually I'm quite excited about it all! As soon as I finish this post, I'm heading off to the exhibition centre to start setting up. I've been running round inviting anyone I know (the number has increased since I first arrived two months ago and only had one friend on the island). The local English-language weekly free paper has written a story about me today - hopefully this will encourage people to come to the exhibition and say hello, particularly any fellow Brits! The "Ibiza Now" blog are going to write a feature on it - all my former PR skills are coming into play. I've got to go and start setting up now - I'll be blogging from the exhibition, possibly in real time!