In London

I'm back in London in London for just over a week for my brother's wedding. It's my first time back here since leaving for Ibiza at the beginning of February and the timing was perfect. The last couple of months I found myself feeling quite homesick, not for London but for all the lovely people I'd left behind. A few weeks ago I found myself questioning the move on a daily basis, not wanting to move back to London but really struggling without lots of friends and family around me. I wasn't sure if it was so great to live in a beautiful place if I missed everyone so much.

Anyway, when I woke up this morning at my friend Claudette's place, I had a realisation. I know I want to live in Ibiza. But until I have a wide circle of close friends there, popping back to London every three months or so will make a huge difference to my quality of life. Even before I left Ibiza on Sunday night, I was so excited about coming back. I don't miss London one bit but I do miss all the wonderful people I left behind. This morning I woke and found my solution. I'll now be back at the end of October!

London

I'm going back to London this weekend for a week. It's my brother's wedding so I guess I have to show up! I'm really looking forward to it. Not so much going back to London but seeing everyone. Well, not everyone - I'm there for just over a week and I have no idea how many pre-wedding parties there are. When my younger sister got married, all the pre-wedding stuff went on for two weeks. By the time of the wedding, I was exhausted and couldn't wait for it all to end! So, not sure how much time I'll have to see friends, particularly when there are family members to spend time with.

All I know is that I'm going to be surrounded by family and friends for just over a week and frankly I can't wait! Friends from London here have said that when they've gone back for a short visit, it's been really energising and they've come back bouncing! A bit like drinking a few cafe con leches in a row I think! It seems perfectly timed as I have spent the last six weeks or so really missing everyone. But I don't miss London. I think this trip back will make it quite clear that I don't want to live in London so I just have to focus on making it in Ibiza when I return, all recharged like a new battery!

Wrong! Very wrong indeed!

I dropped by Cala Carbo beach yesterday to pick up my friend Emily. It's a cute little beach, off the beaten track, popular with families, a couple of family-run restaurants and that's about it.

As we were leaving, I looked over towards the sea and saw a sight that just made me go "wrong!". There was a man standing at the water's edge with a little girl next to him, maybe 8 years old. The girl was wearing a thong - it looked so wrong, so very wrong indeed. If the poor child wants to get an all-over tan, better run around stark naked as many of the kids do here. But wearing a thong seemed like the sexualisation of a child. I found it strange, I'm not sure what others on the beach thought, maybe across Europe it's considered normal but I actually found it a bit disturbing!

Looking for a sign.....

I've just realised that it's been about three weeks since I last posted so about time I wrote something otherwise people who read might think something's happened to me. I'm fine, it's very hot now and the last thing I want to do is sit in internet places in the heat of the day. I need to be a bit more Spanish and use the cool hours in the morning and evening but not like the farmer last week who decided to start ploughing the fields behind the house at around 4am! I was not happy when the whirring of his tractor woke me up. I do enjoy the evenings - I've started doing a "sunset walk" with the cats and kittens and it's great fun. We go into one of the fields that have been recently ploughed and the cats run around like crazy, jumping on the bales of hay, climbing up trees, chasing each other. Quite a surprise to see such activity from our geriatric feline friends as they usually spend all day lying around, doing not very much at all.

Anyway, the title of this post "Looking for a sign...." refers to me and how I've been feeling the last week or so. Every day I look for a sign, a big sign that this move to Ibiza was the right move to make. It doesn't feel like I've made the wrong move but I've not had a big sign that convinces me that this was the right move. I know it was, I'd just like a sign to confirm it. Plus, it would make me feel quite excited! So, what are the signs I refer to? Well, there are only two, they're fairly straightforward (I'm easily pleased....) and here they are. The first would be a really good work lead that turns into a great project. The other would be to meet someone special who makes me go "wow!" You see, such simple things. I don't ask for much.

But, at the same time, I'm grateful for the things that have happened already. I have two gorgeous kittens Simba and Tyke who entertain me endlessly. They're far too naughty to be the sorts of kittens that engulf you in love and always want to sit on your lap (they never do) but watching them play will always put a smile on my face. The work I've been doing for Alberto and his wife Yvonne continues and they are quite possibly one of the most amazing creative teams on the island. Their most recent project "Can Tomas" is breathtakingly beautiful and I'll do a separate post about the villa, complete with pictures! There is stacks I can learn from them and it's good to be around such inspiring people. 

I've also started writing a monthly interiors article for "Ibiza Now", the main foreign-language newspaper on the island. The article should hopefully act like a "shop front" for me, in the absence of having an interiors shop on the island. But I was pretty dismayed to see that in my first article, the photos I used weren't credited. When I raised it with them, I got a "oh don't worry, it doesn't matter" but actually yes, it does. The person who arranged the photos for me did so on the understanding that he would be credited and he wasn't, even though I wrote out the credit and sent them with the photos. I felt awful, particularly as the person has already gone out of his way to help me - from now on, I will be insisting on seeing my articles before they go to print. Makes me feel like a control freak but better that than things not being done properly. 

Anyway, in the grand scheme of things, everything is moving in the right direction but it fees like I've nailed all the periphery stuff but have yet to see some success with actually getting any client work. Maybe it's a seasonal thing - people won't be thinking of the interiors of their homes until the summer's over and they find themselves spending more time indoors. I've decided that once I come back from London in the beginning of August, I'm going to talk to all my property contacts here and see if they can think of any past clients who might want some interiors advice. Leaving my cards in estate agents offices hasn't led to anything yet, probably because the property market here is pretty stagnant, as it is the world over.  

I'm constantly reviewing my tactics because nothing so far has worked. My cards are all over the place but haven't led to any enquiries. Exhibiting at Habitat was a good way to launch the business here but didn't lead to anything (or hasn't so far). So, you can see why I'm reviewing tactics and looking for a sign! I need something pretty big to tell me that this massive move I made, leaving my life, my family and friends to move to a beautiful place where I wanted to live was the right thing to do. Work-wise my last year in London was absolutely amazing but that came after ten years of graft. I know I'm looking to find a similar feeling in a much shorter space of time, in a matter of months actually. Sometimes when I think about it, it was completely bonkers. I came here alone with not one close friend on the island. I've done it before, I lived in three different continents in my twenties but I think it's different when you're younger - people's lives are less established, there's more time and space to let others in. Lives are more established when you hit your thirties, it's different then. But actually, that's not so much of an issue for me, the signs I'm looking for aren't to do with finding a new best friend. I don't feel lonely but I do feel alone. And being the person that I am, I constantly question what I've done and why I've done it and wonder if I've done the right thing. That sign is all I need to stop the constant questioning.....

And now I sit here with a smile on my face, wondering if a day will come when I stop worrying?