Happy Birthday Me!

I celebrated my 39th birthday on Saturday. Seeing it in writing, 39 seems well, not very young. But I don't feel any different to when I was 22, apart from not being worried as to how my life was going to turn out. 

I toyed with the idea of staying in London for my birthday and moving to Ibiza straight after. I'm glad I decided against that, coming out here as soon as I could. Being here for three weeks prior to my birthday gave me time to get a little settled and feel at home before the big day. As I'm about to "launch" my interiors business on the island, I've turned 39 poised for action, not packing up my life in London and getting ready to move overseas. I think it's a better way to start this new age, instead of going through some of the unsettling moments I experienced when I first arrived.

I was woken early on Saturday morning by the phone ringing. It was my parents calling from London to wish me "happy birthday" - they decided to call early and catch me, in case I was out after that. I went back to bed after but couldn't sleep so lay in bed thinking about turning 39. It dawned on me that I was going into the final year of my 30s (it sounds old but I don't feel old at all, not even very grown up!). I've decided to see out this decade in style and end it on a real high! 

I hated turning 30. There was a part of me that thought by 30, there were certain things I should have achieved. In my early 20s, I imagined myself at 30, high-flying career, driving around in a convertible, living in a penthouse apartment with my perfect man at my side. Not being materialistic, I'm not sure where this all came from but it's where I thought I'd be at 30. Instead, I turned 30 earning a pittance working at the Foreign Office (in a job that was fantastic though), living in a shabby but lovely rented flat in Crystal Palace. It was on the top floor of the building so I guess you could say it was the penthouse apartment. As I had little money, I tended to travel round on the bus. And as for the perfect man - well he's still being somewhat elusive and we've yet to cross paths. To make matters worse, my younger sister was engaged and although I'd always thought she'd get married before me, to have your younger sister with a more sorted life than you can be a little disheartening. I remember lying on the floor, legs up in the air thinking "it's not quite what you imagined.....". I have no idea why I was lying in this particular position but I remember it very clearly.

After I turned 30, things got better and better. I found myself moving towards the things I wanted to be doing - it was as if you get closer to the person that you really are. I definitely started to feel more and more comfortable in my skin. I took my invaluable Foreign Office experience and moved into the private sector, working as a consultant at Bell Pottinger Consultants. After being made redundant from the consultancy along with 7 other consultants, I decided to become my own boss and set up an interiors business. I had no experience, no training, no clients but a firm belief in my heart that that was what I should be doing and I went for it! I look at my website now, look at the work that I've done and think "wow, that's your work, even with no training!"

My late 30s saw me with what is known as a portfolio career - juggling two very different worlds. I was working in interiors but would still be called to consult on international/political projects. I don't think of myself with a career though, just someone who's been lucky to have two things that I love doing, even if they are completely different. In fact, my last year in London saw me designing interiors and running the British Ukrainian Society, both jobs that I absolutely adored and both giving me things that the other couldn't. 

So, although I hated turning 30, I've loved the decade and look forward to seeing how it ends. If Saturday was an indication, it'll be a very special year. I had a wonderful birthday, starting with the phone call from my parents and one a little later from my sister and my nephew and niece. I missed a call from my friend Claudette (although I don't think she knew it was my birthday) but she left a message and I keep listening to it as it puts a huge smile on my face. Bea had stayed in Ibiza Town on the Friday night and she came back on Saturday morning, carrying presents specially chosen for me. An iris from the garden (my favourite flower), a beautiful suede-bound notebook to capture my thoughts, a t-shirt in one of my favourite colours, a lovely hair band to keep my fringe back as I can't have it down anymore. For someone who's only known me for three weeks, she chose some very special things. 

I also managed to tune in to the Six Million Steps radio show on the internet. I guested on their show just before I left for Ibiza and this was the first time since arriving that I'd been able to tune in again. I emailed to say I was tuned in and got a birthday shout over the radio! Later in the afternoon, Bea and I walked in to the village of Santa Agnes for birthday cake and coffee. Before going to the cafe, we stopped in to see Manfred, a German guy who's been on the island for years. He makes leather bags for a living - beautiful, classic designs carefully crafted. If I ever want to see man-made beauty, I wander round his shop. I picked up a treat for myself, a little purse made from lime green leather - which he promptly gave me as a birthday present. We all went for coffee and cake in the sunshine.

Bea and I went out for dinner in the evening, after witnessing the most spectacular sunset - possibly a special birthday treat from the gods. We also connected her portable speakers to my Mac and suddenly we had the choice of about 8,500 songs to listen to! I had visions of DJing at beach bars using my lap top - I think I'll see if I can make that happen. Stevie Wonder sang "Happy Birthday" to me and I was then spotted jumping up on the sofa, arms and head raised to the sky, singing along to Spandau Ballet's "Gold". Both Bea and I love that track, one of the many things we've mutually bonded over! Yesterday we went to our local beach, 10 minutes drive away. The sea was glorious but cold and I took my first paddle, dipping my feet in for about 3 seconds. 

I've had a truly wonderful birthday and I'm glad that I decided to celebrate it in Ibiza. There were lots of things that put a smile on my face, including the flock of sheep that were grazing in the field at the top of my camino (hence the photo). As I drove to Santa Gertrudis in the afternoon, I passed a horse and cart which also made me smile. I felt this lovely happiness inside, a real sense of peace and joy about being where I am. It's been the first time since arriving that I felt happy just for the sake of feeling happy - it's a lovely feeling.