This post should have been done a week ago but kitten drama meant it's been left until now. As I mentioned in previous posts, I went back to London for my brother's wedding. As one of my friends said "I bet you didn't think your younger brother would get married before you!". This is true but hopefully it'll be my turn soon, very soon - and what a massive party that will be!
Anyway, I digress. My brother's wedding took place on Sunday 3rd August in east London, also my mum's 70th birthday party. My brother's fairly religious and the girl he married, Rubina, is even more religious. So as you can imagine, the wedding was a very religious affair.
I got back to London the Monday before the wedding and stayed at my parents' house. I haven't stayed overnight there for about ten years and it's funny how nothing changes. Being back in the family, I immediately went back into second child position, with my older sister taking charge over certain things and being the boss. Thing is, her way of organising things and my way are totally different and so this caused friction but I guess that's families for you. I got into trouble for going and catching up with my closest friends but if I'd spent the whole time at my parents house, there would have been more explosions and arguments than there were anyway! It should have been a blessing that I wasn't there all the time but no it wasn't seen that way. I think people forgot that I actually still have a life in London, even though I live elsewhere and after the difficulties I'd been having in Ibiza, I just wanted to touch base with those who know me best!
Anyway, a couple of days before the wedding, we had to go to Rubina's house and bring back some of her stuff as she's moving into my parents' house where my brother still lives. We've always known her family are religious but didn't really know how much. I got a bit of a shock when we were loading up the cars and her sisters came out to help. Before they stepped out of the house, they put on their hijab and it was full hijab, one of those ones that covers their head, their face and only a narrow slit for the eyes. We jokingly call them "ninjas" but it was a bit unexpected to see that her sister were ninjas. I found myself wondering if Rubina was also a ninja.
As we'd been late turning up to their house on the Friday, we were told it was imperative that we all arrived on Sunday at 1200 as they wanted to start the ceremony promptly. We were also told that there was a big event going on near the wedding venue, there'd be lots of traffic and we should allow plenty of time. With all this in mind, the first car set off from Dulwich at 1030 with the other cars following close behind. We ended up arriving half an hour too early but that was okay as it meant that we could take family photos before we went into the venue. Once inside, it was completely segregated, men and women entering by different doorways and sitting in different rooms so it would have been impossible to take any family photos inside.
At 1200, we all entered the hall with men and women going into separate rooms. We walked in to find no one there apart from the people dressing the room who'd just started work. So much for a prompt 1200 start. We were in a school hall, with long tables and plastic chairs, plastic plates, cups and cutlery so it felt more like a child's birthday party, not a wedding. Finally the bride's family turned up and then eventually the bride herself.
We'd been told that no photography was allowed but I'd said in advance that we'd have our cameras there to take family photos and that seemed to be okay. After the wedding ceremony and lunch, our large family was made to clamber up onto the stage and sit with the bride for photos. Somebody was taking photo's from the bride's side and there was also a camera filming everything. I asked Rubina if we could use one of our cameras to take photos for the family and I was told "no". Then I asked if we could get copies of her photos for our family (seeing that we were in the photos) and once again I was told "no". By this point, I was a bit pissed off. Either there are no photos at all or there is one camera per side. But this extreme religiousness with no compromise is a bit of a problem for me. I stomped off the stage after the photos but then got called back for more photos. I went up eventually and sat on the edge looking like a stroppy teenager. My aunts got my attention from the floor and tried to make me behave a little better. I started pulling faces, made them laugh and I think it all got captured on camera!
Finally it was all over and we could go home. Rubina's sisters came to our house and were there in their ninja outfits. Once again I found myself wondering if my brother had married a ninja - it was a bit of a concern that we didn't actually know. After a while my brother and Rubina left for a central London hotel where they would be spending a couple of nights before returning to my parents' place.
The next day, my older sister Rahila organised a lunch for our family at her house. It was a way to get everyone together before people from overseas had to leave and return home. My brother and Rubina came and luckily she wasn't wearing a full ninja outfit so maybe she doesn't take it to that extreme. Something happened that made me feel very sad. My brother hadn't realised that breakfast was included with the room. All they saw was a card that said breakfast was around £13 per person. I'm not sure if he didn't have any money on him or found that a bit steep but they didn't have any breakfast that morning. This really saddened me, if you can't treat yourself on the first morning of married life, when can you treat yourself?
The lunch at Rahila's house was good fun and relaxed. I found the whole wedding thing really stressful as everyone gets involved and generally it's chaos! Fuses blow, tempers get frayed and it can be a bit too much. But the lunch was a great way to finish things and I returned back to my parents home feeling happy and relaxed. Then I saw the text about Simba and Tyke and everything got turned on it's head but these things happen and you never know what's around the corner. I'm just glad I didn't read the text until late that night as it was actually sent in the afternoon but I didn't check my phone. Thankfully!
No comments:
Post a Comment